After

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Is there any new thought?
Is there any new feeling?
Is there any new wonder?
Is there any new curiosity?
Or has it all been done before,
With only the slightest nuance of difference
Separating ourselves from all the others?

You said you never fit anywhere.
I said I felt the same.
But we fit with each other despite frequent battles waged.

And now you’re gone
But for the space I am nurturing inside me,
Where we will stay together,
In the wonder of how no time would contain us.
We stretch into the unknown and disbelieved.
Because being apart is impossible and joyless.
I never knew joylessness
In the before.
I am still interested and curious, full of wonder and feeling.
But I am joyless.
Except when I huddle into the thick web inside me which is the fabric of our fit.
And I want to stay there.

Always and beyond.
I walk out here among those who are more like me than not, but still I don’t fit.
I am still with you as you said you will always be with me.
I believe you in a way that defies rationale.
I don’t care.
I’m going to do this my way.
I hear my voice clearly.
And I see your eyes. Looking at me in that way.
Still that way.

In the after.

 

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